Ardent Expectations

"Her heart - like every heart, if only its fallen sides were cleared away - was an inexhaustible fountain of love: she loved everything she saw. " - George MacDonald

Goal

Dreads by before I’m thirty.

Ardent Expectations for 2014

1.       Finish BA by July 2014
2.       Lose 44 pounds with healthy diet and steady workout routine
3.       Save $1k
4.       Get inked
5.       Empty closets and storage, clean and organize house
6.       Find work satisfaction
7.       Find bible study
8.       Check 1-3 things off bucket list
9.       Learn to be elegant, professional; worthy of dignity and respect
10.   Invest in healthy relationships
11.   Set up regular date times with Susan
12.   Learn to play Magic

Poetry

I so desperately want to share myself with someone. Wholly & unafraid. Yet I am so broken & scared of being left, of being taken, that I have built around myself a plexiglass wall. I see you there, and I want you. Yet I will not let myself get close enough to touch. Instead I throw myself up against the pane again and again; bruising and breaking myself. Instead of taking down the wall, I disfigure myself with fear. I sabotage myself with doubt. Trapped by my own doing. Please save me from myself.

She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.

Eleanor & Park, Rainbow Rowell (via aurelle)

(Source: franstar, via laurennicolelove)

Summer Storms

Anna Jefferis

3-26-13

3:18am

The lightning it calls, beckons and pleas

The thunder it answers with might

The wind howls, bending the trees

Who quiver with anxious delight

The rain, warm and heavy, touches the earth

Then covers with crystal cocoon

The clouds, if they’re gracious, slowly will part

And show you a glimpse of the moon

Then swirling with chaos and still, inner peace

They form such a treacherous wonder

With face to the sky, slowly I breathe

Stand in awe of the beauty I’m under